Friday, January 14, 2011


So... what a week so far. It feels like my day can go from super happy fun time too utter fucking shit. Earlier this I was feeling good, I payed of the women I hit, I started feeling like my week would just go swimmingly and then just out of fucking no where something bad happens. I really feel like nothing is going right for me right now...
Lets start talking about the bad news. (this is going to be a nagging post just saying)So lets start out on Wednesday. I got to work and started my ipod and put the songs on shuffle. Out of the 3000+ songs I have it had to be me and my ex's fucking song. So during work I was all fucking depressed and shit and felt like my life is just so fucking lonely. That feeling went through the whole night. I just could get it out of my head how much I loved being with someone. Before meeting my ex I wouldn't have ever felt this(I think). It just feels like their with never be someone for me and my ex was the closes thing to perfect.(which is really wasn't, but love does that) After that I started feeling like my dad, not letting go of the past and moving forward. I really try and forget the past but I really feel I fucked up. I then started to try and think of why it would never work and why it was for the best. That helped alittle bit, but still feels bad man.
more later... maybe

Thursday, December 30, 2010

What a day...

So I recently got home from work and I feel like utter shit right now. The reason being is at work I had to deal with this full timer always giving me shit for whatever I did. This fucking asshole would not shut the fuck up. I mean I ask another guy if they're team was done yet and in the background he just screams OMG FUCK YEA! I really can't stand him...
more later....

Monday, December 27, 2010

New Years Revolutions

So this is going to be a quick post.
It's in the title and that's what I will be discussing.
What are my goals.
1. Move into my own apartment - when I talk about that I mean me and 1 or 2 of my friends move into together and have a gaming haven
2. Get a girlfriend - not just some random girl. Someone I really love
3. Keep my job - at coke and make more money then before
4. Do more LP's - I like to do them but right now I don't have time to do them or i get problems
5. Do more vlogs - I like vlogging because it let's me talk shit out.
6. get a cut body - I feel with my job and if i do alittle extra I could have one
7. get some skin tone :P - every complaint I get is with my skin being to pale...
8. maybe start classing- jjc or something
9. get better at starcraft 2 :D - Diamond League!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Beauty Turning Ugly

So I just got home for driving to some far off land to get my cell phone back and on the right home I started thinking about How I met your mother and Anna. Weird I know but hear me out. I started think about the episode when Barney was crying over his first true love and after seeing her again just being happy she left the bitch.(and banging her but that's not what I'm getting at.) So I was just thinking about hmm lets look at two pictures of her before and after and my eyes were opened. She really looks like shit compared to how she used to look. I mean it could finally be the ruby specked glasses coming off just now or she really has changed for the worst.
I used to just love how she looked but now he just looks like she put her beautiful hair in a blender and am trying to still make it look good.
I'm guessing if I was still with her I would have still being all goo goo for her but now that I'm over it all I'm glad I figured it out.
Thx Barney!

Friday, December 24, 2010

what kind of gift is this?

so it's x-mas eve and I have work... -_- yea it sort of sucks but hey it's nice money :3. Also for some reason anna friended me on facebook again... don't know what I did but whatever. I tried to really separate myself from my old community(including anything that came from wcradio). When i mean separate i mean just don't interact, just because I felt like everyone didn't want me anymore. Reason being for this. I have been listening to O&H vs. the world for many years now, I started listening to them more at work and I hear they're someone named Kopie. Once I heard that and it was a girl... I was like NOPE! Never getting back into that community. (back story) Ex gf always would say copy like kopie so that's what I think when I hear it. I don't care if it's just someone else it scares me just being around that community.) So I went under a different ID for a while to see if ray or snapple were ever there.... NOPE. I was alone with no one to talk to... need to find a need community to interact with. Trying to get into the team liquid community but that thing is so fucking huge that it would be hard for me make a name for myself...
well that's pretty much for tonight... not going to bed because I got home at 3:30am and I have work at 2pm. So fucking it I'm just going to surf around!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Moving in with buddies "maybe"

So I was talking to my buddy joe and he said he wanted to try and get an apartment with me so we can lan and shit all the time. Right now I'm very 50/50 on the idea. They'res a ton of goods and bads and I'm thinking for right now the bads are out weighing the goods. Let's start out with the goods. Getting a place means fun most of the time and not dealing with parents. Also I would have a wing man when it comes to picking up women.(which I really need :P) Having a ton of amazing LAN partys and party's in general. Finally he is a really good friend and I know he wouldn't ever fuck me over.
Now, lets get on to the bads. He has no job. that fucker is going to have to get a job before we get this place or I will be doing all the shit and he will just lay on his lazy ass. Also I think we would need another roommate to pay for an apartment because I know I'm making decent money but 2 19-20 years olds aren't going to be able to afford rent and all the bills and food. So we would need to find 1 more person. If we could find a 3rd person then it would probably be chill but really till then it's in the air.
Just needed to write alittle bit to get stuff off my back.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Can stop thinking

Ok wtf....... After breaking off all communications with Anna I thought that I would be able to just forget about those 5 months. Sadly everywhere I turn I hear something that reminds me of that women! I watch some Starcraft 2 podcast and they talk about dreamhack(Swedish geek convention). I look at news they talk about Sweden and some shit. I can't get away from it! I mean WHY!!!!!! It annoys me to no end that I can't just leave it to the past! I guess till I find someone that can make me feel the same way she did I will be able to move on.

Also will be doing vlogs and LP's again. They wont have much editing but they will come again.